Discussion:
Midsummer Murders and AD
(too old to reply)
Brian Gaff
2023-09-24 17:05:38 UTC
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Anyone care to suggest why last nights Midsummer Murders on ITV 3 had no
AD, It was turned on on the systems as quite a few adverts had it. Its not a
tremendously old edition, being something like2016, in amongst a host of
others all AD. Strange goings on indeed.
Brian
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alan_m
2023-09-24 22:02:50 UTC
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Post by Brian Gaff
Anyone care to suggest why last nights Midsummer Murders on ITV 3 had no
AD, It was turned on on the systems as quite a few adverts had it. Its not a
tremendously old edition, being something like2016, in amongst a host of
others all AD. Strange goings on indeed.
Half the production team, including those responsible for AD, had been
murdered. This slightly different from most episodes of Midsummer
Murders when it only half the guest actors have their lives terminated.
--
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Brian Gaff
2023-09-25 08:50:28 UTC
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I have to say, that crossed my mind as well. I found it far better when the
previous Barnaby was in it as the scripts at least made it look like the
Police had a clue. In the later ones it seems most get solved by accident.
There is another series, this time from New Zealand called The brokenwood
mysteries that seems to be killing off much of the locals, but seemingly not
any of the characters who are the main ones, even though a couple of them
could not act their way out of a paper bag.

Brian
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Post by alan_m
Post by Brian Gaff
Anyone care to suggest why last nights Midsummer Murders on ITV 3 had no
AD, It was turned on on the systems as quite a few adverts had it. Its not a
tremendously old edition, being something like2016, in amongst a host of
others all AD. Strange goings on indeed.
Half the production team, including those responsible for AD, had been
murdered. This slightly different from most episodes of Midsummer Murders
when it only half the guest actors have their lives terminated.
--
mailto : news {at} admac {dot} myzen {dot} co {dot} uk
Java Jive
2023-09-25 10:54:23 UTC
Permalink
Post by alan_m
Anyone care to  suggest why last nights Midsummer Murders on ITV 3 had no
AD, It was turned on on the systems as quite a few adverts had it. Its not a
tremendously old edition, being something like2016, in amongst a host of
others all AD. Strange goings on indeed.
Half the production team, including those responsible for AD, had been
murdered. This slightly different from most episodes of Midsummer
Murders when it only half the guest actors have their lives terminated.
Les Barker strikes again, this time from beyond the grave - when
searching for this I was saddened to find that one of the funniest men
in the UK had passed away early this year:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Les_Barker

"Les Barker (30 January 1947 – 14 January 2023) was an English poet who
was best known for his comedic poetry and parodies of popular songs, but
also produced some very serious thought-provoking written works.[1]

[...]

On 14 January 2023, Barker attended a match of The New Saints F.C. at
Park Hall in Oswestry, Shropshire. Afterward, he returned to his car and
died from an apparent heart attack at the age of 75.[6] His body was
found in his car by maintenance staff the following morning.[7]

[...]"

Anyway, I append the following in case Brian's reading software cannot
cope with the source page at:

http://www.monologues.co.uk/Les_Barker/Cosmo_Prince_of_Denmark.htm

COSMO, PRINCE OF DENMARK
by
Les Barker

The guard, high on the battlements
Of royal Elsinore
Saw the ghost of one departed,
The king of days before;
A knife deep in his chest,
His face with pain was wracked;
'This dagger was my son's,' he cried;
'I was helping him with his act.'

Cosmo, Prince of Denmark;
Hamlet's younger brother,
Killed Rosencrantz and Guildenstren,
His uncle and his mother.
It was the evil, cunning, Claudius
Who ended the king's life
When he said to little Cosmo,
'Merry Christmas; here's a knife.'

Cosmo tried out slings and arrows,
And Hamlet bore the scars
Before he made an outrageous fortune
Out of his cigars.
Cosmo, Prince of Denmark,
With practised flick of practised wrist,
Took arms against a sea of troubles
And missed.

It was curtains for Polonius;
He came crashing to the ground
With a knife straight through the arras;
Serves him right for turning round.
Cosmo killed Laertes' father
But his sister went to ground;
She jumped into the river
And he missed her... but she drowned.

Then they stood beside the grave,
Horatio and the kid;
'Alas poor Yorick; I knew him, Horatio;'
'Yes, he looks as if you did.'
And there are characters in other plays
That Cosmo did to death;
Remember poor King Duncan?
Bet you thought it was Macbeth;

It was Cosmo, Prince of Denmark;
He got out his knife and fork
And sliced up Francis Bacon
And half the House of York.
Cosmo, Prince of Denmark;
Not the best of men at darts;
The reason English kings
Often come in several parts.

Again in Julius Caesar,
Don't heed his dying call;
Though he said 'Et tu Brute?'
It wasn't him at all.
Cosmo, Prince of Denmark
Practising at home
Aimed at Copenhagen
But the knife came down in Rome.

It was Cosmo, Prince of Denmark
Who sent him to the grave,
And the Latin 'Et tu Brute'
Just means 'Where's my aftershave?'
Oberon, Titania;
They all went for the chop;
It was unfortunate for Bottom;
Cosmo went for double top.

But soft, what knife through yonder window breaks?
Poor Juliet, cried, intense;
'Wherefore art thou, Romeo?'
'I'm impaled against this fence.'
Cosmo looked at all the carnage,
And, remorseful for the dead,
He attempted suicide
And killed King Richard's horse instead.

And in a land beyond Tintagel
Lies a lake shrouded in mists,
Where a hand holds up a sword
And a voice cries, 'Who threw this?'
--
Fake news kills!

I may be contacted via the contact address given on my website:
www.macfh.co.uk
Java Jive
2023-09-25 11:00:16 UTC
Permalink
Post by Java Jive
Anyway, I append the following in case Brian's reading software cannot
http://www.monologues.co.uk/Les_Barker/Cosmo_Prince_of_Denmark.htm
COSMO, PRINCE OF DENMARK
by
Les Barker
BTW, Les Barker fans will know, so perhaps I should have mentioned, that
the above was actually a sequel to an earlier well-known monologue of
his (notice how the names of the 'Lovely Assistant's keep changing):

https://monologues.co.uk/Les_Barker/Cosmo_the_Knife.htm

COSMO, THE FAIRLY ACCURATE
KNIFE-THROWER
by
Les Barker


Roll up, roll up... cried the Ringmaster
See the man on the flying trapeze
The one we've just fitted with elastic
That's him, over there... in the trees.

'Where's Cosmo, the fairly accurate knife thrower?'
The girl with the baby said
Her name was Lucille, they knew Cosmo'd know her
She still had a knife in her head.

'He's back there in the procession.' said the Ringmaster
Pointing to an old, half timbered Morris
It's Cosmo, the fairly accurate knife thrower
And his lovely assistant, Doris.

Lucille stormed up to him in anger
Gave him the baby, he didn't resist
Shamed by the memory of the night she conceived
He'd aimed for her sister... and missed.

Little did she know that the child Cosmo gained
On that morning's Morris Traveller ride
Would become the world famous stunt man
'Evil Shameevil' and his Yammershitty 1- 2- 5

He grew up a child of the circus
Rode the Big Dipper, The Dodgems, The Ghost Train
With 'Cosmo, The Fairly Accurate Knife Thrower'
And his lovely assistant, Elaine.

Once upon a time, they kept marine mammals
But everyone was agin' it
And now the pool stands empty
There isn't any porpoise in it.

Evil set the animals free
'Cos that's what he knew they would wish
You can't keep animals in cages, these days
And it never worked that well with the fish.

And soon he was the star of the circus
The Morris Traveller still travelling on
With 'Cosmo, The Fairly Accurate Knife Thrower'
And his lovely assistant, Yvonne.

Poor Cosmo was on the decline
He was hitting the 'Boddingtons' Loopy Juice
And in one afternoon... hit two lovely assistants
Fourpassers by and a migrating Canada Goose.

But his circus was making a fortune
And the audiences willingly paid it
To see Evil leap over thirty 'National Front' members
And cheered when he never quite made it.

And before he got out of the ring
The next act would kill two or three
It was 'Cosmo, The Fairly Accurate Knife Thrower'
And his lovely assistant, Marie.

And the climax of Evil's career
Was announced with fanfare and fuss
He'd leap over 42 motor bikes
In a corporation, double decker bus.

It was on the 1- 8- 9 to stockport
That Evil set out after his dream
Drove at Seventy five miles an hour down Wellington Road North
Towards the 'Little Sisters of the Poor' formation motor bike team.

Some say the big lady on the back seat stood up
But they found a puncture in the front wheel
And a knife enscribed,
'To Cosmo, The Fairly Accurate Knife Thrower'
From his lovely assistant, Lucille.
--
Fake news kills!

I may be contacted via the contact address given on my website:
www.macfh.co.uk
alan_m
2023-09-25 15:12:51 UTC
Permalink
Les Barker strikes again, this time from beyond the grave  -  when
searching for this I was saddened to find that one of the funniest men
I remember seeing him as a guest act at a folk club 50 years ago.
Extremely funny but possibly helped with a fairly large quantity of
alcohol at the time. I did buy one of his homemade photocopy books of
poems but on reading they were not amusing as his reading of them.

I say a folk club but every other week they had a guest act and always a
comedy act.
--
mailto : news {at} admac {dot} myzen {dot} co {dot} uk
Richard Tobin
2023-09-26 14:22:25 UTC
Permalink
Post by Brian Gaff
Anyone care to suggest why last nights Midsummer Murders on ITV 3 had no
AD,
And in tonight's episode, when an audio describer is found strangled
with his own microphone cable, Barnaby resorts to seeking out blind
viewers who heard him describe his own murder.

-- Richard

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